The Motherland

Posted 2/12/2007 by evan.peters

The Motherland

January 20, 2007

Dear Baba...

Well...Onward and Upward. What a trip...what a trip. These past 3 weeks have seemed like years. My mind is so warped. It is so weird sitting here in the Kolkata airport about to fly back to America. I can't believe I'm going back. America and India are completely different worlds. I remember how nervous I was in coming, but I think I am a little more nervous to go back. But what to fear? You are with me, Ma is with me, Hanuman is carrying me on His shoulders the whole way. Nothing to fear. I don't think I could've had a better last few days than I had. Bathing in the Sangam on Amavasya, then seeing Ma. It doesn't get more intense than that. On Amavasya...we woke up before sunrise. We walked down to the Sangam with just dhotis and blankets, barefoot. Pilgrims and villagers were everywhere. It was by far the most crowded place I've ever been...but I had no anxiety, for everyone's mind was turned to God. Before bathing, we stopped to watch the procession of Naga Babas. They were so intense, most of them naked, all covered in ash with huge dreadlocks. It was like seeing a million Shivas. Some were smoking chilams. Others were screaming "Mahadev! Mahadev!" I've seen them in movies but it didn't come close to seeing them in person. After getting a glimpse, we continued on to the Sangam as the sun came up. It felt like it was sunset...time was non-existent. We were in a karma free zone. We had to undress kind of far away because it was so packed. Shambo watched our clothes as we pushed our way through pilgrims only in our kaupins. My heart was beating so fast. The energy was amazing. These people were the most beautiful people I have ever seen. They had nothing, but had everything. All driven by completely unwavering faith in the Divine. There were children, babies, women, old men who looked like you could break their bones just by touching them. It was totally insane. And then...the bath. We all hiked into the pure Amrit. It was so amazing. Oh Mother, we are all your children. That day, we bathed, swam, and laughed in Your milk. I have never felt so young. It was the biggest celebration...total Divine chaos. Some people were laughing, some were crying, some were carrying on normal conversations while in the water. I looked one way, and Swamiji was talking to a man telling him that he came every year and how India was the greatest. I looked another way and a father was dunking his two boys under while one was crying and the other laughing. Total Divine chaos. I can close my eyes and I am right there all over again. We got out and shivered and smiled our whole way back to the Ashram. Mother, You are everything. Who can grasp Your glory? Your bliss is indescribable. That day, we got smaller than a blood cell in Your little toe of grace. What to know of Your whole form? Jai Ma! Jai Ma! Jai Ma! What else is there to say?

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